


Universal Mind

by last_years_pizza



Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: Gender Neutral, Humor, Other, Reader Insert, Rick and Morty - Freeform, Swearing, XReader, adult swim, cartoon, cartoons, morty smith - Freeform, rich sanchez/reader, rick sanchez - Freeform, rick sanchez x reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-13
Updated: 2015-09-12
Packaged: 2018-04-20 11:53:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4786361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/last_years_pizza/pseuds/last_years_pizza
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rick reunites with an old friend who has a complicated past and an even more complicated anatomy. Before their funeral, they go on a chaotic adventure and bring them across the universe as they please. However, they're chased by Galactic Bounty Hunters, causing conflicts throughout the day. </p><p>(Gender Neutral, Reader Insert "Rick and Morty" fanfic.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Universal Mind

**Author's Note:**

> My first gender neutral fic, and my first fanfiction for Rick and Morty. I hope you guys enjoy it! I had this idea a while ago and the plot is pretty specific, so I apologize. If there are any gendered pronouns for the reader, please let me know so I can fix it!

“M-Morty, let’s go, we’re gonna *belch* be late.” Rick downed a few sips from his flask as Morty pulled on his necktie and slipped into the spaceship. Once the vehicle was off the ground and zooming into space, Rick finished buttoning the remaining half of his white shirt. Finally, he tied the black bowtie around his neck, and put on his suave white jacket. “I should run a club, Morty, ‘cause I look _good_.”

“Geez Rick, y’know, I was supposed to go on a field trip today. I was supposed to sit next to Jessica on the bus, a-and throw up with her on that new rollercoaster. But, gee, I guess not. So make this good, a-alright? Where exactly are we going, Rick, that’s so important?” Morty looked at the side mirror of the ship and combed through his brown fluffs of hair to pull them into shape. It was 3 AM and Morty wanted nothing but to go back to bed for four more hours.

Rick belched loudly and began steering with his feet while drinking. “We’re going to a funeral.”

“A wh-wh-what? A funeral? For who?” Morty stammered.

Rick sighed. “For an old friend, Morty. We go _way_ back.”

Morty’s lip quivered in slight sadness but he was a bit bothered at how relaxed Rick seemed. “Gosh Rick, I’m sorry...how-how did they die?”

“They haven’t.” Rick belched again.

“Wait, what? Th-then where are we going?”

“To pick them up from prison.”

**_*cue Rick and Morty Theme*_ **

The spaceship parked a few dozen feet away from the Delta-978 Prison, one of the highest security prisons in all of outer space. The two boys looked out to see a figure in a spacesuit doing backflips and the breast-stroke through the 0 G’s, and Rick laughed heartily. The strange noise was so foreign to Morty’s ears that he almost cringed.

The wall of one of the prison cells was completely ripped out. “Damn, we didn’t even need to break them out. I guess we don’t need all these explosives.” Rick tossed a pack of C4 and a few sticks of dynamite into the back. You glided over to the ship and knocked on the glass. Rick handed Morty an oxygen mask as he quickly opened the hatch to allow you inside. In the back seat, you ripped off your space suit and exhaled.

“Thanks for picking me up, Rick. And you’re actually on-time for once.” The spaceship zoomed off as you scratched through your (h/c) head of hair and sighed. “God, this ship reeks of alcohol, Rick. You still on about the booze?”

“Never stopped, (Name), never will. Aren’t the guards gonna chase us?” Rick said, smiling.

“Nope, they know today’s the funeral. I just blew up my cell for fun. They’ll probably charge me for that, now that I think about it...But, they expect me back in at least 32 hours, since I still got two more years in the slammer.” You kicked back in your seat and crossed your legs, looking out across the galaxy.

Morty was weirded out by the huge grin on Rick’s face that he seemingly couldn’t hide. Rick was actually, genuinely excited now that you were here. Morty sighed, then turned back to look at you.

You smiled at the pubescent kid. “Hey Morty, I’m (Name), one of Rick’s old friends.” You courteously held out your hand and Morty shook it.

“H-Hi (Name)...” Morty thought for a second about how good looking you were. He couldn’t understand how Rick must’ve snagged someone like you. “Um, how do you know my name?”

“Oh, Rick never told you? Rick declared me as your godparent after you were born. Your parents have no clue who I am, so it’s not ‘official’, but I like to think I’m your godparent in spirit.” You ripped out a human bill from your pocket. Rick had told you he’d be bringing Morty this time, and you were prepared. “Here, Morty,” you handed him $100. “Hopefully this money makes up for all the lost emotional connection between us. That’s how humans do that, right? With money?”

Rick laughed again, much louder this time. “Yep, *belch*, you’re spot on, (Name).” You grinned.

“Wow! Gee, th-thanks...But how can you be my godparent if you’re...so young...?” Morty asked.

Rick laughed again. “Geez, stop kissing ass, Morty. (Name) is practically immortal, they’re from the future; another planet and dimension all together. I met them travelling once and we’ve been buddies ever since. But damn, we’ve had so many adventures. The only one who aged, though, was me.” Rick exhaled, pulling his eye bag skin down with his hand tiredly. You laughed and Rick smiled again. You noticed the smile had faded faster than the others.

_He has more wrinkles on his face...and his hair has more white strands..._

Morty was still astounded by the amazing bill you had given him. You were excited for him to find out it was fake. Morty continued with his questions, “So, you’re from a different planet?”

“Yep,” you replied. “It’s in the outer ring of the Zymantium Galaxy in Dimension CF-64. We’re a subspecies of humans, and evolution has made us age slower. We’re also invulnerable to practically everything. But your race of humans, you guys are the OG’s. You’re our version of the monkey-man, honestly. I came back in time accidentally and started researching the origin of my species.”

“Gosh, that’s insane.” Morty said, puzzled by the complexity of your past. “Wait, why are we wearing these clothes if you’re not even having a funeral?”

“Well, Morty, it's not a waste. Those clothes look good on you two. But, I am having a funeral. I’m so old and so intelligent that I created my own universe to replace my mind. Long-term memory wasn’t pulling slack, and I was learning so much info that I had to throw away a lot to make room. I got sick and tired of throwing stuff out and relearning it, so I just made a miniverse in my head. Rick actually came up with most of the technology to do it a while back.”

Morty made a confused face and held a finger up questioningly at you. “So...it’s like the tiny universe that powers Rick’s car?”

“Precisely. Ship, may I have the scanner please?”

“Of course, (Name).” A scanner popped up from the side of the ship. “And welcome back.”

“Thank you very much.” You pulled the scanner over your forehead.

Morty stared at the image. “Oh, oh man, that’s incredible...that's what's inside of your head?” An entire universe painted the pixels of the screens. Glowing galaxies and rivulets of stars gleamed between the empty patches of dark space.

“A universal mind. The first of its kind.” You boasted. “And it’s mine. Every galaxy is a cluster of information. The oldest stars are the first facts I ever learned. Thousands of memories scattered like planets, each with their own story. It’s much easier than the neuron thing.” You pushed the scanner back to its place. “But if you keep something running for too long, it can burn out, right? To keep that from happening, we just reboot it every three years. On Funeral Day, Rick downloads my universe’s data into a specialized flash-drive before the universe collapses. And when it does finally collapse, we reboot it by initiating another Big Bang. After the Big Bang, Rick uploads the backup into the Universe and my brain is fresh and restarted.”

Rick nodded. “*belch* Exactly, and s-since the download time takes so long, we start 24 hours before the universe begins collapsing and just go have fun while it happens.”

You smiled. “We should probably get started, huh?"

Rick handed you a small device. You plugged it into the socket at the back of your neck, just below your hairline. You were confused when your mind filled with the information on the flash drive. Files labeled as "corn", "rick astley", "definitely not porn", "funny pictures of morty", and "jerry quotes" flashed across your mind. Your mind automatically began flipping through the pictures and documents within nanoseconds. "Um, Rick, why are there so many naked women?"

"Oh, shit, sorry. Take that out." You ejected the USB and Rick handed you another one. You were a bit stunned at the contents of the previous one. You plugged in the new one, chills running down your spine as you let copies of information begin downloading. 

Rick clicked on the stereo and one of your favorite songs blasted. It was (Fav. Song) by (Artist Name). You laughed, banging your head along to the tune. Rick knew you so well. "Oh that’s right, Rick, what do you have planned for today?” 

“I was thinking *belch* we’d start off with a round of _Blips and Chitz!”_ Rick wailed, and you cheered with him, as he made the ship fly even faster towards his favorite arcade. Anything you did with Rick was fun, really. Being with Rick was fun. Rick was fun. And he tried especially hard to make sure you always enjoyed Funeral Day. He was always afraid that _that_ might happen again.

“I have every possibility of Roy downloaded into my mind already,” you teased. “But you know what’s out?”

“What?” Rick belched, curious and excited.

“Roy 2!” You happily yelled, and Rick whooped after you.

The spaceship sped onward, spinning into the atmosphere and swerving into a parking space. You and Rick swaggered into the arcade, several aliens there recognizing you and high-fiving you. “Hey, it’s (Name)! When did you get out?” You greeted them all, answering their quips and questions as you strolled towards Roy 2. 

You settled in the seat and pressed a few buttons to begin your game. Rick stared at you, the light of the monitor glazing your eyes and a faint smile, filled with wonder, ghosted your lips.

He smirked at how immense your presence was. It was that universal mind. Other beings could sense it, even basic aliens like the ones at Blips and Chitz. They feared it, they loved it, they adored it. But it wasn't just your mind. The way you walked, spoke, even your gaze. Something about you was commanding and beautiful, and Rick knew that. He always had, that's just who you were. Beautiful. Rick sometimes suspected it was that beauty that led him to you. That kept him so delighted to see you. 

You caught his smirk and returned it, pulling your helmet on and closing your eyes.

Roy 2 had a co-op mode, where multiple players could link up neurally and control Roy, so Rick grabbed the other helmet and sat beside you, your shoulders pressed against each other warmly.

God, you loved Funeral Day.


End file.
